Trippin'
by AmberFics
Summary: Tricky Raven's silent auction piece. Bella and the pack take a road trip.


bA/N: A dollar short and Day (month) late, story of my life. It's been so long since I've posted anything I feel like I'm popping my FF posting cherry. I'd like to thank Chrissi for bidding, the awesome storyline, and not sneaking in my house to stab me in my sleep for taking my sweet time finishing this. And thanks to Kat for pre-reading :). I hope you all enjoy... now on to the warnings.

Part One Contains: Urinating into a national...treasure?, a Winnie the Pooh reference, Adult language... no seriously, I'm practically the spokesperson for the word fuck., unlawful use of tin foil, stripper glitter, anaphylactic shock, surprise sex, Marijuana usage, Seth the pervert, batman panties, uh yeah... on with the show./b

center... /center

bLa Push, Washington/b

Jake walked around the rusty bus in front of Sam and Emily's cabin, kicking the tires. "Alright, everything's a go. Get 'er packed up."

Paul nodded. His gaze moving to Jared and Kim sucking face beside an equally disgusting visual of Leah and Quil rounding second base. He shivered at the sight before looking back to Jake. "Where's Seth and Swan?"

Jake threw another bag in the bottom compartment of the bus. "If I had to guess, they're below that cloud of smoke behind Sue and Charlie's. Fuck, Paul, you're a wolf... ifollow the giggling/i."

Paul flipped Jake off and threw his hand up at the newly arrived Embry, before stomping into the patch of trees between Sam and Sue's. The glassy stares that met him were no surprise. His nose wrinkled at the smell of weed and the half eaten bag of onion flavored chips on the ground between Seth and Bella.

"Hey, dumbshits, Jake says we're ready to leave. Please tell me you two have packed."

Bella shoved an entire potato chip in her mouth before speaking. "Why, yes, oh fearless fuck face, we packed last night."

Seth snorted. "And we've bid farewell to the parental units."

The duo then turned to each other, mock scowls and fingers pointed.

Seth adjusted an imaginary Charlie style gun belt. "Now, Bells, do no hesitate to use the can of pepper spray. Hit a boy in the 'bad touch' place if he tries to get fresh. Oh, don't talk to strangers EVEN if they asks for help finding a puppy or have candy. That's how these perverts work nowadays, playing on your feminine qualities."

Seth finished drinking his Vitamin R and threw the pretend can over his shoulder. Bella's face changed into a soft smile. "Sethy Bug, I know that such a sweet boy like you doesn't think about things like this. But, sometimes women, ifloozies/i, will try to use your innocence so they can touch your no-no. No one is allowed to touch your pee pee, Seth. I want you to call mommy if you think someone is bad. Mommy will be there in a second. And no puppies or candy, Charlie is right about that. We love you both."

Paul shook his head as Seth slipped the glass pipe into his pocket. "I have no clue how you two get away with every damn thing. Come on, let's go."

Sam and Emily stood on the porch of their cabin, saying their goodbyes to the group of delinquents. Sam's eyes moving from each of theirs to the bus, fake smile plastered on his face. Emily waved as the others boarded the bus. "You all have fun! Sammy and me are going to work on wedding plans and practice making babies!"

Sam's face paled, his eyes wide staring at his bare feet. They walked inside the house once the hunk of metal carrying the pack turned the corner. Emily excused herself to the bathroom, Five seconds later Sam bolted out the back.

center.../center

They had just passed the La Push border when Jake heard the thump of a flat tire. He began to slow down when Sam's running form came into view through the folding doors, beating his hand against the side of the bus. Jake pulled the lever to open the entrance. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Their alpha threw himself onto the steps of the bus. "Don't stop! Go, go, go! She can still catch me!"

He scrambled from the steps, walking between the goodwill sleeper sofa beds that had been bolted on the sides of the bus. He found eight amused faces looking back at him. Paul lifted one eyebrow. "Explain."

center.../center

bLater that day- Seattle, WA /b

Sam ran a hand through his inky black hair. "So she was all i'RSVP's, changing table, breastfeeding, spring color palette'/i and I was like i'fuck this, I gotta go.'/i I'm still not sure how the imprint broke."

He looked up at the smiling faces of the pack, Embry's playful shove causing him to relax. Quil grinned down at Sam. "Welp, somebody get alpha here some shoes. We got shit to do, Bella wants a picture of a hat or something."

The group filed out of the bus and made their way to the huge metal cowboy hat and boots. Bella snapping pics of them all. She squealed when she spotted the cowboy cutout you could stand behind for photos. "Jake! Go over there!"

She pointed at the cutout with excitement, until she noticed the girl standing behind it. Bella slid behind Paul, using his body for cover. "Fuck my life, why the hell is Jessica here!"

Paul looked over his shoulder at the frantic woman. "Who the hell is Jessica?"

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "You iknow/i! Big titty Jess, I went to school with her."

Paul glanced over to see Jake and i'big titty Jess'/i with looks of adoration on both of their faces. "Swan, I think we've got bigger problems than you running into someone you went to school with."

Bella slowly peeked her head around Paul's bicep. "Jesus, fuck! Not the iI-word/i!"

"Yup." Paul nodded, dragging Bella by the arm to follow the others over to Jake.

"He's met her before! Why is he just now imprinting?"

"Pretty sure he's never noticed her face, Swan. He's been talking to her nipples for the past two minutes."

Seth grinned at Paul and nudged Bella with his elbow. "Just listen to them."

"...so tan and hot. I want to take you home and cuddle." Jessica swooned at Jake, running a hot pink nail over his stomach.

Jake nodded, his head moving up and down with the movement of her boobs. "I wanna squeeze you, stick my face between you and just ibrrrrrrrrr.../i" His head moved back and forth, lips blowing a raspberry.

Leah, Kim, Embry, and Sam doubled over laughing. Jared looked at Quil with tears in his eyes. "The fuck? Did he just say that?"

Quil fell into a fit of giggles, nodding.

Jessica's hand cupped Jake's cheek, smiling. "I would love that! We should go to my hotel." She grabbed his hand, Jake following like the puppy he was.

Embry wiped his eyes still chuckling. "So, since we're stuck here for a while might as well go to the strip club." Paul, Seth, and Sam followed him, Bella and the couples walked back to the bus.

center.../center

Later that night, Bella woke up to the weight of a shifter sitting on her thighs, two hot hands covering the fabric of her batman undies, and Seth's voice singing. "... you know what to do with that big, fat butt...wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, WIGGLE!"

Her arms flailing around, she tried to dislodge her step brother from her ass cheeks. He finally plopped down beside her. "What in the flying fuck are you doing?!"

He grinned. "Just call me your two a.m. wake up call, sunshine."

Bella huffed, shoving her head back into the pillow and closing her eyes. "Go away, Seth."

He slipped the blueberry blunt from his pocket, holding it a few inches from her nose. "Oh, okay. I'm sure you need your beauty sleep. Paul, Sam and me will go take care of this." He chuckled when her nostrils flared, scenting her favorite flavor.

She growled. "Fine, I'm awake. Where's Embry?"

Sam sat down on the sofa mattress, smirking while wiggling his eyebrows. "He is in the company of a stripper by the name of, iMidnight D-light./i"

Bella snorted, slipping on flip flops and gesturing to the door. "Dear god."

center.../center

Leah woke to find her little brother being spooned on the bed by Sam, who was being cuddled by Paul, and all three of them with an arm around a sideways Bella and Embry. The cocoa puffs sticking to their underwear-clad bodies made her chuckle. When she noticed the stripper glitter covering Embry, it turned into a full out laugh. The three bottom wolves jumped at the sound, sending Bella and Embry flying through the air just as Jake and Jess walked in the door sucking each others faces off.

Embry and Bella landed right in front of the new arrivals with two loud thumps. "Thank god. Can we get the hell out of Washington?"

center.../center

bGrand Canyon, Colorado /b

Two days, seventeen bathroom stops, and sixty-seven paper plates later, the pack arrived at the Grand Canyon.

Jake, Quil and Jared gazed at the jaw-dropping, majestic beauty of nature. Quil scratched his balls. "That's a big fucking hole."

Seth cackled. "That's what she said!"

"Wanna see who can piss across it the farthest?"

The sound of three zippers lowering and Seth's comment had Bella and Kim's faces scrunching in disgust. "What the fuck is wrong with all of you? This is one of the wonders of the world!"

Jared looked over his shoulder at her like she was slow in the head, his voice full of sympathy. "It's Not really a wonder. The river caused the rock to erode, now there's a big fucking hole. That's how it happened, Bella."

Bella threw her hands in the air before stomping off with Kim.

Two hours later all that could be seen, had been. The girls and the pack - minus Paul - were waiting around the vehicle. A few minutes later the missing member arrived with a plus one.

"The fuck is that?" Jake asked the obvious question.

Paul grinned. "My new dog, Killer. He was hanging out by the dumpsters checking out all the fine bitches walking by on leashes, something I can appreciate. So, we made friends and he's coming with us."

Bella squealed, running to the dog. "He's so cute! Look at his tail! We should name him Fluffy! That's right, you're the most iadorablest/i puppy there ever was." Her hand was a few inches away when 'Fluffy' snarled and snapped his teeth at her.

Paul threw his head back, laughing menacingly. "Good boy! Oh, such a good boy, Killer. Don't take that shit from her. You're just like Daddy. Let's go get you some treats!"

center.../center

bTen Miles from Roswell, New Mexico/b

Everyone had gathered to stare at Jake's ass, currently hanging out of the still smoky engine compartment. He sighed, easing his upper body from the tight space. "Not much I can do now, I'll run into town and hopefully have the parts by morning."

The others started setting up a little campsite, Kim, Jess, and Seth leaving down the deserted road with Jake.

Quil rubbed his stomach after the ithirteen/i campfire hotdogs he inhaled. "I'm gonna go for a run, gotta watch my figure."

Embry snorted. "I'll join you."

After a few minutes of staring at the fire, Paul and Bella stood, looking at Leah, Jared, and Sam. They both huffed at each other before walking in opposite directions.

center.../center

Jake walked from the parts store. "No luck, truck doesn't deliver until noon tomorrow."

Kim and Jess bounced on their toes. "The night's still young. Kim and I found a club a few blocks away. Can we go dancing, Jakey?"

Jake chuckled, following the girls and Seth. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Four bottles of Patron later, Jake was sober and babysitting. Kim and Jess were screaming off-key karaoke while Seth was riding one of the huge moving spotlights on top of the club, yelling that he was a 'Mayan god' and demanding 'virgin sacrifices'.

Jake's head snapped to Kim when he heard her angry voice ask, 'What the fuck did you just say?' Right before her and Jess grabbed two bottle blondes by their hair.

Awesome. Now he gets to break up a chick fight.

iLe Fucking Sigh./i

center.../center

An hour long wolf run had Embry and Quil feeling refreshed. They slipped their shorts on before starting the three mile walk back to the bus.

A few minutes passed before they could hear a strange noise coming from the only tree within a few hundred yards. The pair creeped up to find a huge lump hanging from a branch,...humming?

"What do you think it is?" Embry may have been a little spooked from the Alien documentaries Bella had forced them to watch. He wouldn't admit it.

"Don't know. Hand me that stick, Em. I'm gonna poke it."

Embry could practically hear Seth's 'What she said' on the breeze as he picked up the five-foot long branch from the ground.

Quil prodded the lump until it fell at his feet.

Buzzing. Not humming. iDefinitely fucking buzzing./i

Embry phased, shredding his shorts. Hauling ass to the large pond he had spotted earlier- if it worked for Pooh Bear, it would work for him too.

Quil ran... just not fast enough. By the time the bees had gotten tired of sting the shit out of every part of his exposed skin, he was completely swollen. The small slits that were once his eyes barely made out the form of Embry's bare ass walking down the road.

"Hhhmm ppparrr rrrrr eeee?"

"What?"

"Ughhhh, iHhhmm ppparrr rrrrr eeee/i?"

"Dude, I don't know what the hell you're saying. You look like a science experiment gone wrong or some shit."

Quil growled, about to question the distance again. A voice and strobe lights stopped him.

"Sir, put your hands on your head. Uh, Ma'am? You too."

Quil glanced at his swollen pectorals, currently a D-cup, putting his hands in the air.

center.../center

Sam, Leah, and Jared were content to roast marshmallows and shoot the shit while the others were gone.

When Sam was telling them a story of Jake head butting a tree because he had fell asleep on patrol, Leah noticed Jared's eyes go wide as... well, saucers. He pointed at the sky to the large lights moving around. All three gasped.

"Holy shit, ithey're real!/i"

By the time Sam noticed the red and blue lights coming from the opposite direction they were frantic. The three shifters ran to the bus and locked the door, hiding from the invasion.

center.../center

Paul walked around a scrub bush - he knew he had passed it four times already. The pack were constantly nagging him about his occasional lack of direction.

Fuck them, this was all iSwan's/i fault.

She had to sit there iglaring/i with those fuck-me eyes, bitching about his sweet puppy while swinging one of her sexy legs back and forth. He needed to get away from her.

Quite frankly, he wasn't sure if he wanted to fuck her or snap her neck.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear, looking equally as lost as himself. She strolled over, annoyingly itempting/i sway included.

"Well, well. Little lost Lahote, got yourself turned around huh?"

"Fuck you, Swan. I know exactly where we are." He growled out.

"Fine, then. Lead the way." Bella tried to be nice and faked a smile. Truth was, she was scared to death she would die out here with the huge ass spiders she had spotted.

Paul smirked. " Okay, I will. Is wittle Bella scared of the big bad awiens?"

She flipped him off, following in a semi-directional direction.

After hiking for awhile they came across Embry's shorts and a small pond. Sitting down for a break, Both were relieved they were on the right path.

Bella squealed, swatting at her outer thigh. "Damn it! I haven't been stung by a bee in years. I forgot how bad it hurts."

Paul grabbed her by the ankle and yanked her towards him. "Let me see it, Swan."

"God, Paul! Why do you have to be such an asshole!"

Paul threw his hands in the air. "Probably the same reason you're always being a bitch! I was trying to fucking help!"

"By dragging me across the damn ground?" She huffed.

Paul closed in, inches from her face. "It's always fucking something with you, huh? Too rough, too gentle. Too loud, too quiet. Too fast, too slow. Too cold, too damn hot. I swear I'm losing my mother fucking mind!"

Paul was too busy ranting to notice those fuck-me eyes he was obsessed with glazed over, or that Bella had moved closer to his outstretched legs. The fact was, an angry Paul turned Bella ithe hell on/i. After she had watch him turn Newton into a bloody pulp after one too many handsy grabs to her ass one night at the beach, she icraved it/i. Pissing the violate wolf off as much and often as she could, her sole mission.

She swung a leg over to straddle his lap. Covering his lips with hers, ending his angry words, while pulling at the hem of his t-shirt.

Paul was...shocked. It took a full thirteen seconds before his mind had caught up. He pulled his shirt over his head, clashing his lips back to Bella's and gliding his tongue to finally taste her.

His hands moved to squeeze the plump ass he had jacked off to fifty seven million times. He groaned as she kissed and nibbled down his neck and across his collarbone. The sensations causing him to pull her hard against his jean covered cock. He took the hint when she pushed his shoulders, laying back on the hard ground.

She palmed his dick through his shorts, popping the button as she sucked his hard nipple between her lips. He hissed when her teeth scraped the tight brown skin before moving down to kiss, lick and suck his abs. He couldn't stop himself from moving forward when her pink tongue darted out to lick over his hips. Their eyes met as she unzipped his shorts, tugging them down until he could kick them off.

He thought he'd lose it when her soft hand gripped his cock. She winked at him before licking from the base to the head of his dick, finally wrapping her lips around him.

"Oh, sweet Jesus!"

Paul was so happy at the moment, if the aliens came, he'd probably let 'um probe him a little.

His restraint broke when he watched her small hand glided underneath her skimpy shorts while she sucked him off. He grabbed her by the arms and flipped them over, ripping her clothes to tatters in seconds. Diving between the creamy thighs that had taunted him for years, he finally got a taste of what he had fantasized.

"Holy hell, don't stop, Paul!"

Bella looked down at the nearly black eyes between her legs, unable to count the number of times she had gotten herself off thinking of his sexy mouth on her. His plump lips sucked her sensitive clit, a low growl building in his chest as she pulled at his silky hair with one hand and pinched her nipple with the other. The two fingers that had been stretching and pumping her pussy curled, causing her back to arch, pushing herself harder against his mouth as she came screaming his name.

Her head thrashed as she begged. "Holy shit, Please, Paul! Please! I need you inside of me, NOW!"

He took his time mapping her body with his mouth and hands as he moved north. He was pretty sure he could play with her tits for hours, but she was getting louder with her demands for his dick.

Sitting back on his heels and gripping her hips to pull her to him. He watched his cock sink into her inch by inch until he was fully inside her sweet heat,

Pausing for her to adjust to his size i-cough-/i trying not to immediately cum at the sight of his dick inside his fantasy girl. He picked up the pace of his thrusts, the bounce of her tits spurring him on.

Her cute little feet had moved to brace against his upper chest, he nipped her left ankle with his teeth before kissing it. His thumb slipped to rub slow circles around her clit, thanking god that he could feel the small flutters against his cock hinting at her impending orgasm, he was worried he would blast before she did.

Bella muttered Paul's name like a prayer as she felt the build up of ecstasy overflow. Her release pulling his, roaring 'Bella' as his hot streams filled her, their hands searching for each others, intertwined fingers to hold themselves to earth.

Rolling over to his back and pulling her soft body to his chest. Letting out a happy sigh, he muttered. "Mine."

Bella's eyes met his. "Um, what did you just say?"

"Uh, ikind/i, it was very ikind/i of you to let me touch your vagina with my penis. So, uh, thanks."

Bella busted out laughing. "You're welcome. Come on, I see cop lights, the road must be over there."

Paul slipped his shorts back on and pulled his shirt over Bella's head. He bent down latching their mouths together before smacking her ass and pointing to the lights. "Come on, road is that way."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I just told you that. What are we going to tell everybody?"

"Fuck if I know."

Holding hands they walked to the deserted pavement.

center.../center

Sam, Jared, and Leah were huddled into the small space beneath the dining table, aluminum hats firmly in place, when they heard the door rattle.

Jared was nearly hyperventilating. "Oh, fuck. This is it. I don't want an anal probing."

Sam whimpered when the door lock was forced open. "We're all going to idie/i."

Two sets of footsteps were coming closer when Jared planted his foot on Leah's ass and pushed her into the walkway of the bus. "Take her! Don't breed her though, she's mean as hell!"

Leah cautiously looked up to a disheveled Bella and Paul. "Oh my god! Were you abducted?"

Paul and Bella nodded furiously. "Abso-fucking-lutely. They were green, probed the fuck outta us."

Leah's ringing cell phone caused everyone to jump. Slowly, she slid her finger across the screen and pushed the speaker button.

"Hello?"

Charlie's voice boomed across the speaker. "You wanna tell me why in the sam hell Quil, Embry, Kim, Jake, your brother, and iJessica Stanley/i are in a New Mexico jail and the only damn phone number they remember is mine?!"

"Um, okay. I'm not so sure, but I'll get back to ya." Leah ended the call just as Charlie's second round of screaming started.

Sam climbed from beneath the table. "So, uh, walk to the jailhouse, yeah?"

a href=" ?ref=25tdd0n" target="_blank"img src=" . " border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"/a

bPart two coming soon! Let me know if ya like it ;) /b


End file.
